Why being beautiful and clever is not what we want after all?

Friday got me thinking

Have you ever been told you are beautiful? While you are taking in the compliment, you realize at the same time thinking; mmm yeeees, but I wanna be smart too!

” But do you think I’m smart too? “, ” Yes dear, of course I think you are smart too! ”

Us women have this thing that we want to be seen pretty but we want to be known for being very intelligent and witty too. Does this mean we want the cake and eat it too? Taking a look in our history it does not come as a surprise that we can be confused sometimes of they way we define ourselves.

 

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Back in the day

If you go few- lets say fifty years back in time, women where meant to look presentable in the dinner table, we where meant to be supporters of the leading role. Taking on the leading role, other than sexual, would have been absurd. In the sixties in Finland it was seen atrocious for a woman to be seen alone in a bar, you needed to have a man in your company. Talk about having gay friends back then as a cover up. It was like blind leading the blind.

Being born in a country where men and women are now considered to be equal, where the battle has been fought systematically over the years, equality is finally considered to be a part of national pride. Something we can show to the outside world, that it can be achieved. So, it takes willingness to open up ones eyes and look around to the world to see what struggles still so many women have to go through in their lifetime.

Something profound as a womans right to choose what she want’s to do with her body is still a huge battle in many countries. Yes, I am talking about the A word. Being in charge of your own body is a must as water is to the survival of this planet.

 

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About the dress size…

Dont we just want to be left alone without this constant media judgement on our looks? If still the topic of our conversations is to talk about our dress size, even though we have come so far as being free to get divorced in a heartbeat, don’t we need to ask ourselves what is it that we value in life?

Why not define ourselves in a new light. Where as before the body has come first, would the mind be the defining feature. Kinda like; ” she is seriously fabolous and easy to get to know to, Not to mention her striking sense of humour  “. Just like the transition between summer and winter seasons we too should move on.

Some of us even go so far as to cutting the label off. Maby for it not to be seen by others ( like we still are in high school and would get teased in the locker rooms ) but maby mostly to themselves. This leaves me to the question why are we so judgemental about ourselves? Is it really so difficult to embrace our bodies the way they are? And mostly why we allow the industry to define what size means to us? Australian model Stefania Ferrario is calling out a change with her campain on dropping the plus size labelling. #DropthePlus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPlkxTh8CRU

Another inspiring woman, Marisa Peer created a movement by using the simplest words loaded with such power one can imagion; I am enough. Imagine, you are enough, simple as that. The way you feel about your body is the only opinion that matters. You are the only one who can change the way you think. You are enough. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y Brilliant.

We all struggle at some point in our lives with our body image. For some it is a passing thing that comes and goes with different ages. For some it might be a issue throughout their life. For me there is such a life to be lived and doors to be opened without thinking the state of my weight or bodyparts the whole time. And simply I just refuse to do so. I have a choice in my own life to look the damm way I want to, right?

 

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Look at us now

When thinking back on the year 2016, about who have been the influencers for me, beside my mother of course, I came accross with so many names that I could nominate to have been my role models. Women that I have learned so much from, and who still continue to inspire me. I realized that none of them have actually made an impact on me by just the way they look, rather than on what they have accomplished in their life.

I want to finish this post with the words of a gorgeous person I consider to be a cultural influencer in so many ways. These words really simplified everything what is important in this conflict between sexes and genders. ” Don’t be mean. If you are not being mean, you can do what ever you want in the whole world. ” – Kate Bornstein.

Bornstein is a mean gender theorist https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Bornstein  and ohh boy, those trade mark glasses can inspire forever!

For me, being a woman is amazing adventure. My style is changing together with the years that keep adding up. Something like stupid prejudice’s don’t last forever. The only thing that may continue to last are Karl’s rings but that’s about it. So let’s be kind to each other! As women, as citizens of this planet and as influencers of our own life.

Till next week babes,

xoxo

Tea

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2 thoughts on “Why being beautiful and clever is not what we want after all?

  1. Anu Elizabeth says:

    I liked this post a lot! I have always felt a little weird about compliments that consern your looks only. A bit awkward and uneasy. First of all I don’t think it is such a great compliment in the first place. If I’m pretty, it is not something I had to achieve or work for really. I was just born the way I am. I would rather be comolimented on my wits, humour, skills or being great company or a good friend. Those things I would be happy to list as accomplishments. Also if someone appeoaches me because they like my looks only, it does not create a great amount of interest on my side. Also it often feels like we are supposed to be super greatfull if someone deigns to comliment our looka. I remember a past conversation in a night club where a guy comes to ask me to dance and I decline politely. “But you look so good! Come on!” “But you look so good”! How’s that a reason for me to be more interesred in him? I don’t get it.
    Ofcourse it should also be mentioned that when a loved one tells you that you are beautifull to them, it is different and very much appresciated 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • TeaMaria says:

      Very true. It is actually hilarious if you start thinkin about it; that people think only your body is what defines you! gooosh how stupid.
      Thank you so much for this positive and thoughtfull comment. Have a good day!

      Like

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